25 Dec Christmas is Changing
This December marks 11 years that I have been living in Queensland, whilst my family still lives interstate, most in Perth, the longest flight across Australia you can pretty much possibly get. For all these years, I have been pining, ‘Why aren’t I with my family for Christmas?’ And all the thoughts that go along with that – loneliness, pining and whinging for what I haven’t got, and many more. Through a series of synchronistic events, this year had me reevaluating all my beliefs around Christmas, family and the like. I feel called to share, what I’ve realised and how I’ve had the happiest Christmas in years because of it.
As most of you know, I am a single mum to my daughter, Adaya, who turns 6 in eight days. This year, I wanted to go ‘home’ to Perth for Christmas. But with all these synchronistic events making me look long and hard at my beliefs, one may say that this shift has caused me great joy and happiness! I got sad originally not being able to go ‘home’. Then, things showed me, this is my home. I once heard, 10 years makes you a local, well I am now one up on that! With Adaya going to her dads at lunchtime on Christmas Day, it became apparent and totally felt right, to celebrate Christmas Day, on Christmas Eve with her. She could slowly open presents, I could enjoy preparing food for us in the kitchen at my pace, she could enjoy what she received and I could enjoy what I could give, without feeling rushed or on a schedule. It was OUR day.
These shifts began late November, and they are here to stay. Adaya and I now celebrate a Christmas Month. The WHOLE of December is our Christmas Day. The WHOLE of December has become our Christmas tradition. I know every year, Christmas Day will look different, especially with dreams of a white Christmas on the cards in the coming times, it just felt right to enjoy a whole month of it. Why not? It is OUR Christmas after all. We can choose our OWN traditions and what that looks like and means to us, in our way, with what feels right for us. Accept all invitations (that feel right!) of Christmas and Birthday celebrations, the Christmas Carols and Christmas lights, Advent countdown to the day, enjoying the ‘activities’ set out for that day.
We’ve had a whole month of shopping and loving what we buy. Shops got busier and busier, and some would say to me, ‘Ewww, shopping, it’s sooo busy and no parks.’ Hmmmm, interesting…. We always get a park right near the front and barely wait in line and always get served by helpful people, no matter what’s going on around us. Life is what you make it I believe!
It has been a big shift to let go of all the pining and whining on what I haven’t got, when I have a blessed little family, that is my own and I am now ‘owning’ that you may say, or that I’ve just grown up, or both and more. This is how WE do Christmas in our own special way and what feels good to us. Instead of being alone after she goes to her Dad, I chose to say YES to a beautiful Christmas lunch that I invited to go to and celebrate this day. I used to turn down offers and then whinge and complain about being alone or crying poor that no one loves me. Until I started saying yes to life, to the offers that come my way, loving myself in a way that supports the me I want to be, my life felt ‘very alone’. Now I am alone and I feel the most loved and supported I have ever felt. Happiness is an inside job. Say yes to life and life says yes to you. How can it get any better than this?
Make Christmas YOUR Christmas. If it feels draining and tiring doing all the cooking or otherwise, then give It a miss and do something different. Find your own tradition. Merry Christmas x