14 Nov When we accept ALL of what our kids eat
When we accept ALL of what our kids eat, then it isn’t such a big deal and it becomes normal.
Healthy becomes normal.
When we praise our kids when they eat ‘good’ food then do the opposite when they don’t eat healthy, you are giving power to good and bad and making them ‘wrong’ for choosing something ‘bad’.
Whilst ‘bad’ food can affect little bodies (and our own!), putting our judgements on what they eat and when, only compounds this.
PLUS we are instilling our own beliefs on what they are eating.
When Adaya was a baby and breastfeeding her for 2.5 years, I was very strict with only organic food and bone broths etc (all foods but organic).
Yet, when she started going to her Dad’s house and he would take her to McDonalds, it was really out of my hands.
I was seen as the ‘bad mum’ because I didn’t have ice-cream or other ‘unhealthy’ food in my cupboard. I wasn’t a ‘fun mum’.
Eventually it was alot more stress for me to control what she ate when she was with her Dad or more. (trust me, I tried!)
I had to let go of my own controls. I had to let go of my judgement of what was ‘good’ and ‘bad’.
Yet, most of all – I had to trust Adaya – that she knew what her body needed at any given point in time.
I was grateful I had that time in the start, and gave her nourishing food for a time.
Whilst that nourishing food still is ‘normal’ in our household and Lamb Shanks cooked from the recipe from Sally Fallon’s Nourishing Tradition, is her favourite meal, or a cup of ‘bone broth tea’, or a green juice (celery, lemon, apple, cucumber and some kind of green leaf) are regulars here for her, I have stopped making a fuss about what she eats and doesn’t eat.
I do – however – give her awareness.
A donut. Yes, I let her have it. If she has tummy pains later that day I ask her, ‘What have you eaten today?’ (rather than me saying, ‘I told you that donut wasn’t good for you!’ as much as I want to lol) she will go over what she has eaten (sometimes with help of remembering what she has eaten) and then come to her own conclusions.
I will say to her, ‘Oh, honey, I don’t feel that is good for you, it has chemicals or gluten in it.’ I let her know how I feel about it. Yet, at the end of the day, it is her choice.
‘I don’t care mum, I just want it.’ Okay then.
Now, you may be thinking ‘Oh my, then she will always want that stuff and only junk food.’
Whilst it has been amazing to witness the journey of my child doing whatever she wants when she wants (yes, including bed times and food and more), what this actually does, is it allows her to grow in deep awareness of her body, her mind, her energy and more. They call it self-regulation.
Yes, I say no to her.
Yes, I have strict loving limits at times.
For example, she has several late nights in a row and is tired and cranky some days.
I will set a loving limit, of that is enough for now and it will be 7:30pm bed times for a bit. But if we get busy and one night we both have wide awake energy – then she will do her thing and I mine.
You see, nothing is set in stone in life.
Days and nights change. It isn’t always day time and it isn’t always night time.
The tides come in and the tides go out and they wash up different things on the beach and take out different things every single time.
The tides may come in and out – that is the same, but how high or low the tide is, is different and what the tide brings with it and takes away is different.
Yes, human’s thrive on routine, yet, allowing space to come to your own routine is key.
There is a difference between routine and discipline. You can see that article here: http://realityawareness.com/2017/10/23/routine-is-a-soul-killer-but-do-not-confuse-routine-with-discipline/
The biggest lesson you will have as a parent, is learning to TRUST that your child knows when they are hungry, when they need to go to the toilet and when they are tired. Sounds simple right? How many times have you forced your child to eat ‘because it is dinner time and you need to eat now at this time’. Are you hungry at the exact same times every single day? Are you tired and go to bed at the exact same times every single night?
‘Oh, but they are a child, they need to be told what to do or they will walk all over you.’
Quite the opposite really.
When you honour how your child is feeling, they will honour how you are feeling too.
I have given up cooking dinner for Adaya at a certain time. I used to get sooo frustrated because I would cook this amazing food then she wouldn’t eat it. (and no, I won’t force her to eat it, that is how eating disorders happen, well one reason) As she has gotten older, I have learnt to ask her what she actually wants and then ask her to let me know just before she gets hungry, so I have time to stop what I am doing and prepare her food for her.
Yes, it may be different for you having more than one child, or a larger family. Yet, if you are stuck on ‘well this won’t work for us because…’ you’ve missed the point.
It is about finding YOUR flow and trusting that your child will eat when they are hungry.
Adaya will do alot of mono eating, which is how we are truly supposed to eat.
I have noticed if she has had junk food for several days, the following days, she will only want raw food. Some nights, all she wants is carrots and will eat almost a bag of carrots on it’s own. (hence why I always have carrots pre cut up and prepared in the fridge, in water, so they don’t dry out that way, that is a healthy food she can grab without my help).
When I let her choose her own foods and with awareness I teach her. By example.
I eat alot of raw food and tell her why I eat certain foods, why I take certain herbs/supplements. Whilst I pull faces at how gross it tastes as I take them and we have a laugh about it, I always say, it doesn’t taste that nice, but it is good for___________ and I will share what and why I have it.
That way, when she is older, she will already know this information and be able to make healthy choices because she knows how what foods make her FEEL like – is also the other awareness I bring to her.
Do you TRUST your child enough, to eat what they feel like?
And hey, you don’t have to go to extremes as it may seem like to you, but loosen the reigns a bit. Let them choose. Hold your tongue and words about ‘what is bad for them or praising them with the good’ just make everything normal – and bring awareness to how it makes one feel.
Even for yourself.
Like I. I eat very healthy and right now alot of raw food. When I eat something cooked or unhealthy, and I definitely feel it in my body, I tell her, ‘Oh my, I shouldn’t have eaten that, that’s made my tummy feel sick, I feel yuck. Next time I won’t eat that.; And next time, I point out to her ‘in general conversation making it normal’, ‘Oh I feel like those hot chips, but last time I ate them, they made my tummy feel yuck, so I am not going to have them. Let me smell them though!’ And so I do smell her chips and say ‘OMG YUM’ usually! #truthbomb and we laugh about it together.
Where are you needing to let go of the reigns a little?
Do you trust your child?
Do you, trust you?
Love, Hannah xxx
P.S. If you worry about your child (or anyone else for that matter) and worry about food greatly or worry full stop – you aren’t in trust (obviously). Do you want to be in fear – or trust? Which has a higher vibration and which do you want to eat? Which do you want your child to eat? If you want to learn how to let go of the fear and deeply trust, not only around food, but in other areas of your life too, PLUS know how to transform the food you eat so it won’t harm you, Trust Your Intuition doors close on the 29th November: https://realityawareness.lpages.co/trustyourintuition/