07 Oct 7 top things I have stopped apologising for
I am hearing it so much lately – sorry! sorry! sorry! Sorry for _______(fill in the blank!)
My response is the same! STOP SAYING SORRY!
Why? Because we are f*&king human AND I see so many women putting themselves down FOR BEING THEMSELVES!!!
You need to stop apologising for the little things you do – in a sense that it is ridiculous you should be apologising for being who you are….
My 7 top things I have stopped apologising for will help you understand a bit more:
- Being too emotional: Woman! throw this one out the damn window! You are a woman, you have cycles, everything changes moment to moment and on top of that – we are sentient beings we FEEL everything that is going on whether we are aware of it or not. Let alone women – as HUMAN BEINGS we are here to FEEL! We are taught at such a young age (unless you grew up in a very conscious household!) that feeling is no good – stop crying or I will give you something to cry about, speak when you are spoken to etc etc… I used to apologise for even giving my opinion on anything. What you say matters. What you feel matters. We as human beings, have cycles, we are made of 70% odd of water, that great big moon in the sky – she moves the oceans on this planet – did you comprehend that – OCEANS ON THIS PLANET – that is a massive amount of water – and we are 70% water (or so!)…. we are affected by this, let alone every other bit of energy flying through our sphere – because we are energetic beings. So, stop apologising for having emotions – we are human and we feel.
- Being too excitable: This one I am still practising! I used to be soooo excitable about so many things – about life! (especially when I stopped taking recreational drugs back in 2006 and realised reality is actually okay and actually fun!) and then people around me told me I needed to calm down and I was crazy because I had so much excitable energy. And the worst thing I could’ve possibly done – was listen to them! Due to some deep core woundings – I actually did listen to them, over myself and I shut me down. And baby. That sent me into a deep dark spiral. I have only recently come back into this space and realised it is okay to love life, it is okay to be 100% me and if you don’t like it that isn’t really my problem at all. You just need to close your browser, delete me as your friend and get on with your life. Baby, excitement and joy is the zest of life… If I am excited about something I am in my element, I am in FLOW, I am ON PURPOSE I am in ALIGNMENT and I am CREATING baby! (and at the moment – creating things for YOU to find YOUR FLOW & PURPOSE IN LIFE!) I have learnt that if someone says I am too excitable, I need to tone it down a bit, or I need to focus on peace instead of what brings me alive – well I know where to turn – back to my FLOW and into my TRIBE! So, never dim your excitement because someone else doesn’t share your vision, find those that share your vision and stayed aligned with yourself this way!
- Replying late to messages: Yes we live a modern day technological world, where replying to an email is considered appropriate within 24 business hours. Yet, lately I am finding so many saying sorry for replying to a text message, facebook message, email or otherwise – that is like, maybe an hour or more late. Um. Hello. What? Babe, you don’t need to be on call 24/7 – unless you want to of course! Yet, I have learnt to stop apologising for my lateness in replying when it is illogical to do so especially if it is within a couple of hours – or even the next day! Unless – you are like in mid conversation and just all of a sudden stop replying when you are having a conversation back and forth, well then yes the other person is probably wondering what is happening! Yet, babe, stop apologising for responding when you do. If it is totally urgent, there is a phone number (usually) they can reach you on, yet when someone sends a message, I am sure they are not expecting you to be on beck and call and reply like NOW. I have learnt to not open messages until I am ready to respond to them. I have learnt to turn off social media and email notifications/alerts, to help me to focus, stay present with NOW and hone my energy into all that I am doing in the moment. I have regular time slots that I check in with these sort of tasks, not set 9am now, 5pm now, yet, just chunks of time during the day that I know I am going to sit down and do it so it isn’t over my head with overwhelm to do. It just gets done. By doing this, when I sit down check emails, facebook messages and even phone messages, I can do so presently and in one go to maximise productivity. If you find yourself apologising constantly for being late, perhaps it is time to look at what is running underneath the surface that is causing this? (send me a message, I can help you here with this!). Otherwise – stop apologising for replying when you create space to do so!
- Having a messy house: Oh this is a big one! I would always apologise for this! You know most of the ‘mess’ you see no one even sees until you point it out?!?! I have stopped this. And since I have hired a house cleaner, my whole energy has changed having this support. Just knowing it is getting done is such a weight off my shoulders as a homeschooling busy mum building her empire. I have noticed that even when what I would call messy and would want to clean up before I have guests over, I am not even worried about anymore since I know my house cleaning angel is coming. It is life changing. Besides – life is messy. If you stress out about it, or feel overwhelmed that it is always ‘to do’ I found the best way to curb this before I had a house cleaner, is to set a regular day that would be my house cleaning day and just knowing that this day is there, took the worry and stress out of it. Life is messy, having kids changes everything and there is more to life than apologising for LIVING IN YOUR HOME!
- Taking up people’s time: This is a big one! I used to apologise for taking up people’s time by asking questions. Really!?! How else do you learn? How else do you grow? You aren’t some burden on somebody’s life – unless you think and feel that! (if you do, this is another topic all together, send me a message if this is you!). Of course, there are boundaries, like if you constantly pull on somebody’s life to meet your needs without giving anything in return, well yes! But, if you are just reaching out for some help to start with – how is that an issue? How else do you learn, grow, evolve, understand – LIVE?!? Babe, let this one go, and grow!
- Having an upset child: I hear this so often! And I let go of this early on with Adaya. You know, that barking dog you hear down the street in the middle of the day – you don’t really notice it until someone points it out right? If your child is crying and upset in public – are you more worried about what other people think and start apologising because they are crying? Especially babies? Honey, this is the same as apologising for being too emotional! Children have emotions too! What would your best friend do if you were crying and upset? Say, ‘Oh babe, it’s okay! I’m here!’ – probably! They wouldn’t be running around to everyone staring in, saying, ‘Oh so sorry she’s upset!’ wtf?!? Right! So, no different with your child crying. You just be there with them, give them your love, cause that’s all they need. Not worry of what other’s think!
- Sorry for being me: This kinda relates to the above-mentioned points, yet, this one is big. I hear so many women especially, apologising for ridiculous things. And it makes me question, what makes you think you need to apologise for being you, saying what you mean, thinking what you think, liking what you like? I know for me, it was/is a big one about my self-worth and self-love and just loving me for me, loving me for all the things I like, do, say, want, hear, feel…. this is all me. It has taken me a while to get to this point of being aware of what I am apologising for, and then correcting myself to not say it anymore. I noticed when I did, it was like a complete shut down of myself, my light, my life, my being 100% who I am – all of me. I also noticed that I did it around certain people more than others. If you are around other’s who you feel you can’t express your whole self to, then I would start looking within, noticing where you are apologising, start asking why am I apologising for that? What for, why and how can I change this? I found that when I started to notice where I was apologising, it was a deep seated belief that somewhere in this interaction, I don’t feel good enough and need to apologise and keep hiding who I am, keep small and little and don’t let me be me. Ouch! Not anymore. Take a breath. Get comfortable being 100% you. And love that about yourself. No more hiding! Be YOU – without apologies!
If you need help honing in on the thing that keeps you apologising for ridiculous things, send me a message and let’s see what is going on so you can stop apologising for living your life and being YOU!
P.S. If you haven’t already, check out my Recalibrating and Activating Your Internal Compass FREE audio download that can help you align with Your Life Purpose and Life Direction now to get you back on track: http://realityawareness.com/recalibratingyourinternalcompass