More on the Boundaries, Empaths & Their Families from the other day. (Part 2)
Feb 01, 2020
More on the Boundaries, Empaths & Their Families from the other day. (Part 2)
It can be tricky to know what to say to some people when we are setting strong boundaries - or boundaries for the first time ever.
Saying 'no' - and not having and explanation or justifying yourself is also tricky - but powerful to master and to know that - you do not need to justify your actions to anyone.
Some examples of 'words' that can be spoken are:
"Ah, that sounds lovely, can I think about it and get back to you?" can be a response, instead of your automatic 'yes' response and gives you a breather for a moment.
When you get back to them, you can share that your calendar is quite full and can we organise our catch up for another time that suits us both at a later date?
"I would love to catch up with you, see you and spend time with you, however, I have had a really big week and my energy is quite low. I am needing to spend this time to refuel my cup and energy, so I can be present and enjoy the time we spend together when we do, so we can catch up at a later date when I feel myself again, how does that sound?"
The other part about this is that when you set boundaries the relationship and the energetic dynamics of the relationship CHANGES - and that is what people feel subconsciously and that is WHY they seem like they 'latch on' or 'it get's worse' - because they FEEL the change subconsciously but are not sure what is going on.
They may feel like they are losing you and this can freak them out - especially if you were a main contact of support or spoke to them everyday.
You can acknowledge that "Yes, the relationship has changed a bit between us, I'm still here, I am needing to get some things done, but we can speak on 'such and such' a day." for example.
When you acknowledge the relationship has changed - it gives them a sense of safety in that you are naming the change in the energy dynamics that they feel but usually can't put a finger on - they may just say you've changed and feel like you've abandoned them (even though you haven't!) - but it definitely changes and acknowledging this can shift a lot on it's own.
There is also this thing called tough love.
This is where some really deep unspoken truths rise to the surface and this can be a really uncomfortable conversation that 'rocks the boat' - however, this is you not tolerating being around this any longer/copping their words of disregard and constantly nitpicking you apart for no reason or any other situations which are simply not okay.
This can look like you voicing for the first time ever how this really feels and setting some strong boundaries, that "I am feeling really hurt by your words when you continue to speak to me like this, can you please stop?"
If they continue, or get fired up more, you can let them know you are willing to come back to this conversation at a different time and excuse yourself from the room.
Tough love boundaries may be hard to implement or feel MIGHTY uncomfortable however, once this initial boundary has been set and eventually those around you understand this is the new you, then this becomes the new normal and this is just how it is.
Easy? No. But the freedom you feel is priceless, and well worth a teeny bit of un-comfortability factor for a time.
If you want more on Boundaries and setting them, what actually happens and some more ideas to support yourself, keep reading and then listen to my 'The Energetic Fallout' Audio (link below) for more support on exactly how to do this and what happens when you do.
Where do you draw the line?
When do you say, enough is enough?
Why do you set boundaries and then drop them when someone comes along?
Why do you do that? Again? Frustrating isn't it!!!
What about feeling sacred to speak up for what you really want to say - because of the reaction or response you get from that person? Eeek!!
THE ENERGETIC FALLOUT FROM REMOVING YOURSELF FROM SOMEONES ENERGY
In this FREE Audio Training that is titled: The Energetic Fallout of Removing Yourself from Someone's Energy I cover these topics:
~ boundaries in relationships
~ boundaries with yourself
~ how to remove yourself from someone's energy
~ what happens when you do
~ how to 'hold space' for someone when they are throwing abuse at you/projecting their nasty words at you (yes, there is a fine line between holding space and abuse and I speak about this on the Audio)
~ the truth about people who you think are bad, evil and just plain nasty
~ how to ground your truth and stay strong in your energy so you don't take on their projected wrongness
~ how to remove yourself physically from someone who is throwing abuse at you
~ what happens when you start taking care of yourself and the people around you feel the change, why this happens, what to do about it and how to support them without rescuing them or hurting their feelings
~ how to co-parent when you are going through a 'nasty' separation whether you have children or not and how to hold space for them and protect yourself at the same time
~ how to protect your children's energy and how to teach them the same
~ why when you start making positive changes in your life, things seem to get bad/worse before they get better
You can listen to the audio for FREE here: https://soundcloud.com/realityawareness/the-energetic-fallout-of-removing-yourself-from-someones-energy
If you have any questions or need support after you've listened to this, please comment below or send me a message and let me know!
Love, Hannah
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
P.S. If you think this can help someone, please share it ❤️
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