I didn't know who I had become... worst still I forgot my purpose.
Aug 26, 2021I didn't know who I had become... worst still I forgot my purpose.
I feel like this running business - like my entire life - that was normal. But this last 12 months? Has been soooo conscious and coming out of that running has left me in the dark with who I am, what I am actually doing and where I am going.
And yet, after coming through a huge recalibration and deep dive, deep inside myself this last 2-3 weeks, that finally clarity came streaming through this morning as I dove deep inside myself (#standard), that... it actually hasn't changed, but it is just that I have met the goals that I had been working so diligently to get somewhere, the next level, the next phase, and I have...
And this forgetting my purpose -
I found myself more often than not getting pulled into world shite.
That ain't me.
Sure I talk about it from time to time, but found myself WANTING to watch it and was like - WOAH, hang on - this isn't me.
Sure, I may have been carrying some people...
But it was deeper than this.
I had forgotten my purpose.
I remembered how I never used to get pulled into world stuff.
I remembered how dedicated and focused I was to serving my purpose.
And although it feels like I got lost along the way - when I really tune into it?
I was just shifting to my next level.
My entire physical environment has changed.
I've changed, my home and car have changed, my bank account has changed, my investment portfolio has changed (never used to even have one of those!) - A LOT has changed.
It isn't that I lost my purpose.
It is that all those things I was journalling about day in day out over and over again RELIGIOUSLY not missing a day, sometimes doing them MORE than once in a day and DEFINITELY always constantly thinking in this new way that I had even been journaling into reality - well, at some point, that shifts from pen to paper and INTO reality right?
That, is what this last 18 months has been for me - a huge recalibration into my next level that I have shifted out of since I began this online gig and conscious journalled my reality into existence.
I also realised, it isn't of course, that I have lost my purpose.
But I had got lost in allllllllllllll these ideas flooding in and I realised just this morning what this is about.
I was getting frustrated that I couldn't get it all done again. Something I feel strongly when I am deeply expanding and yet, it was 'here again'. And all I could see and feel was the frustration of 'being stuck here again, not being able to get it all done.'
What this is ACTUALLY?
And thank FUCK for this realisation, because this shifted it ALL for me.
All these ideas that I have not been able to do right now, but have been trying to, which has been leaving me feeling fragmented and scattered because the base line, underlying foundations are still on 30% done and is a 5 year project in itself - that because I have shifted to this next level:
- got off government pensions
- change Reality Awareness from Sole Trader to Company
- bought my dream car
- travelled on a 5 month road trip with my daughter and all our animals
- moved into a new home
- expanded into investment portfolios for the first time
- moving out of adrenaline addiction
- shifting from masculine trauma led go go to feminine be and receive
Is 'why' I forgot my purpose!
And yet - it isn't that at all, they are the wrong words for something that is tricky to describe.
Recalibrating to my next level..
All that mindset internal work and journalling HAD to shift my reality at some point and that's what it has been.
Reality does shift.
But you have to do the work.
And you want to know the ULTIMATE key to success with it?
That most people miss and fail because they simply missed this one important - most utterly gold mine of a key?
CONSISTENCY.
Even when you don't feel like it.
even when it doesn't feel like it is working.
THAT is the key.
You keep going.
You keep writing.
You keep doing the inner and outer work.
You make the changes.
You make it happen whether you have the funds to do the thing or not.
Because if you don't shift, the Universe won't either.
You go first.
I realised this morning, the reason I FEEL like I have forgotten my purpose, is several things:
- I had these dreams to travel the world, now I 'cant' - and yet, this is a gift, because I still have that 70% of a long term project to complete and for me, being on the road and trying to get it done, just does not work for me. I need my sound proof recording room and office set up. Funny how the Universe really does have your back if you look deeper right?
- I kept getting pulled into world stuff, because of all the huge 'outer reality' changes I have been through that have taken me to my next level, now I am 'here' I forgot how I used to work, at the level of filming and recording I used to do. Now I am settled in this house, I can do that again. I forgot that until this morning!
- Deadlines. I work best to deadlines. Otherwise I just wander about. When I was in highschool, we'd have what, 10-12 weeks to get assignments done. I would be up until 2am the night before, completing the whole thing in one go. Until then, I would wander and enjoy the present moment. This morning, I set strong deadlines. Just like I used to. And phew! What a shift in energy with that dropping in! #shesback
- Being in my masculine trauma shell my entire life - when I was journalling my new reality into existence - I didn't know that was even there. So this last 12 months of being in my 'safe home' - this unravelling of this outer shell has 'thrown me for six' - didn't see that one coming! And yet, it makes total sense! I have been journalling about receiving large amounts of money with ease, with joy, with grace, doing what I love, loving what I do and impacting billions around the world to 'Awaken the Consciousness of Humanity' after all right? I guess I never knew 'how' that would happen. But the how is never up to me. That's the Universes job. I just have to turn up to the next thing my intuition leads me to. Hence, everything I have just been through and releasing this shell.... is exactly this - just following all the things, my intuition guides me to do - every. Single. Time.
It is literally how I have built my business, lived my life and in all this chaotic change, had forgotten that too.
And yet...
All of that... has come back.
In this new level, this new playing field.
This game... of Life.
Because it is.
How are you, choosing to show up?
How are you, choosing to create the life you want?
Are you THAT dedicated and committed you truly allow the Universe to take the reigns by 100% following your intuition the ENTIRE way?
Do you truly trust yourself enough, back yourself enough to say no to what is not right, so you can truly say yes to your Soul - no matter the cost, no matter what it takes?
Love, Hannah
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
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