Part #1 of 3: Authentic realness can be felt.
Jul 18, 2024![](https://kajabi-storefronts-production.kajabi-cdn.com/kajabi-storefronts-production/file-uploads/blogs/7863/images/d01e452-b761-70ec-f7ca-3cdbd1453e3_blog_1_.png)
Part #1 of 3: Authentic realness can be felt. You can have all the shiny marketing tactics in the world, but if you aren’t being you, if you are’t happy in your own skin, if you aren’t living what you preach, if you aren’t happy in your relationship or your life - it shows. Energy doesn’t lie and you can feel it. Everyone can feel it.
It has been a huge initiation for me in the country and ten folded after the dog attack - to find happiness within my life out in the country after my beach lifestyle was stripped away. Everything was ‘taken away from me’ - Spirit, knew the fastest most direct route for me to face everything I had been running from in my life so that I could truly come into alignment with my ultimate real purpose. Or was it just a timing of the next evolution of my purpose that I had to evolve into… I think… it’s been the latter.
I knew that I have been out here in an initiation. Or maybe that was a label I placed on it to find the inner strength to get through what I have been facing out here. Facing deep within one’s soul is not easy. I know that I was brought out here to face and heal things that suburban convenient lifestyle doesn’t allow the deep initiation of inner work that is faced when you are in isolation with nothing but the green rolling hills, nature at it’s finest where you are always on edge, on guard, because let’s be real, nature is nature and it is wild as fuck. It ain’t no walk in the park 🤣
When I first moved out here, it was a journey into blackness. I was grateful to be here then wondered why I was falling apart. To then realising that beach lifestyle and country living are hugely different ball games. To realising the hard fact that I was sick and tired of talking about narcissistic relationships all the time! I had lived through them my entire fucking life and to speak, teach and preach on healing through them - I was exhausted of it. So I stopped. And then I was like, right, so what do I talk about?! Cue - the crumbling - of everything.
Journey. Initiation. Deep within. Stopping talking about it made me face the deep internal pieces. I had to heal the internal hate that was buried deep inside me from childhood patterns of internalised shame - that had externalised in the world as a confidence that was shielded by a hard masculine shell and wall that became a protection mechanism because I had no protection, no one there - ever. It attracted all sorts of circumstances and attracted a string of relationships of men that were more in their feminine, because I was more in my masculine. The core of narcissistic relationships is there is always two. It may be ‘one person doing the narc things’ - but honey, you’re there tolerating it 😳
There is a huge difference of stopping talking about something to bury it and not face it, to stopping talking about it SO you face what you are avoiding by talking about it 😳 Sure, I could’ve just got on with life… but you know, I live what I teach and that, requires a passing of tests to make sure I truly understand what the darkness, self-hate, internalised deep childhood shame is inside out, so I can help others heal in complete wholeness. To return to the purity of Soul.
I had to find happiness deep within. And that, was a huge confrontation. I wasn’t happy in my life. What I had and showing to the world was a front. Sure, my energy, alignment and all the pieces back then WERE in alignment - for that time. I LOVED going to the beach, surfing, walking, living a lifestyle of freedom, doing what I love and making good moolah to match ($20-$50k months on repeat), healing and helping others get onto their Life Purpose and walk away from relationships that were no longer in alignment with their Soul’s mission. Because that is what I was doing! It WAS in 100% alignment. 100% of the time, my client discussions were about leaving the unhealthy relationships to get on their mission - or healing their marriages that were on the brink. I would feel like an imposter, as I wasn’t IN a relationship - but I was sharing what I would do if I WAS in one and tell them all this and the amount of people that either walked away because they knew it wasn’t in alignment or healed their marriages and are still together today or healed family rifts and came back together with them blew my mind.
I was happy, I was authentic, in pure alignment and it SHOWED. I thought I was asking for my next income bracket. And I was. 100% I was. I am always moving to the next level in expansion. There is no changing the world on a poverty budget, mindset, environment or who you hang around. And I got pulled out to the country to face deep inside of me - what I was TRULY wanting and manifesting. I thought I knew what I was wanting, manifesting and ‘for my purpose’ - but Spirit showed me something else that I could not see at the time.
When I moved out to the country and Spirit showed me deep inside the darkness, self-hate, internalised deep childhood shame and trauma that was buried (that was only attracting all the things I didn’t want in my life, for the Universe is only mirroring what is deep inside of us). I was taken to another layer. I was taken to my deep internal core. It hasn’t been easy. The dog attack thrown on top of that - just to make sure that I clear out the ENTIRE facets to shiny up that internal diamond, not missing any face of that diamond in there.
Did you know that a week before the dog attack, I was speaking with a client in discussions around choosing to heal through joy and not pain anymore? And we both declared it there to each other - that learning and healing through joy is now the new normal and then BAM a week later the dogs got me and cue 18 months of recovery and 3 years in total of complete WTF is going on with my life?! She even sent me a voice message a week after it happened and she was like, “Hannah, do you remember a week ago we were sharing -“ and I was like, “I KNOW RIGHT?!” 🙄 Oh well, I have always said, If you are going to do something, do it properly! So yeah, cleaning out any possible unconscious hidden shadow deep dark parts it is lol
To heal through JOY. I had to be shown the deep internalised pieces that had created a hard masculine trauma protection shell that wouldn’t allow that. The dogs, helped me shatter that as I was left ripped open, bare boned and stripped back, more than I had ever thought was possible. To teach the darkness (Throat Chakra Consciousness), I had to truly understand it.
I am Reality Awareness. I am Awakening the Consciousness of Humanity.
To teach and awaken consciousness, I have been shown facets, beyond measure.
I am the Life Purpose Queen.
I not only you get you on your Unique Purpose - I help you live out your dreams.
Your true dream. Your unique dream. Your unique purpose.
Not the facet on the front that is the healing mechanism to get you to dive underneath the facade of what your shiny marketing is showing the world to what you’re REALLY here to do.
Energy doesn’t lie. It is a feeling.
Authentic realness is what people are seeking and it is felt a mile off. And those triggered by the authenticity project, blame and thrown distortion.
I thought I was asking for something, my desires, my manifestations, my purposeful alignment of what my purpose, business and work is. I always have. That is what I do. That is who I am. It is what I still do and am, that hasn’t changed.
To change the world - that’s inevitable. That’s my Purpose. I’ve said it from day dot.
But the deeper alignment of facets that Spirit pulled me into alignment for? That I had to stay put for? That I had to face?
I knew that I have been out here in an initiation. And yet, what Spirit brought into my life of what my initiation was ACTUALLY for? Has blown my mind. And all landing on Master Manifestor of course. But deep down - it was what I ALWAYS wanted, what I always KNEW, but gave up on. And that level of giving up, was surrendering. To the Divine plan. To the divine timing. To the divine everything.
I. Had. To. Let. Go.
Of everything.
And I had to face everything inside of me.
To receive, the deepest desires that my entire being had been calling out and pulling me into alignment for this entire time.
Part #2 of 3. Tomorrow.
Love, Hannah
The Life Purpose Queen 👑
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